A "newer" normal.

Beginning of July

I haven't really looked back a pictures yet from this summer. I came across this one the other day. Alfred was about a week old and we headed down to Nisqually to walk the trail. Oh how quickly things change.







September

These last 8 months have possibly been the hardest- emotionally, physically and in every other way possible for everyone in our family. Well, except maybe for Alfred. Minus a few bad weeks in the hospital, he has pretty much had my full attention and arms for the last six months.  So many folks have told me there "must have been a reason" or "life was trying to tell you something" or "why did it happen" and on and on. I think I'll take Forrest Gump's approach and simply say, shit happens.

So here I sit, almost 8 months post break and I'm still recovering. My kids don't actually remember a time when I walked unassisted.  This has been bothering me a lot lately. So, I think it's about time to write some things down. Some things I hope to learn from this time so when shit happens again, I hopefully won't have to relearn it.


January at NW Trek

Slowly, and oh so painfully I'm learning:

• Mobility is awesome. We don't often think about sitting, standing, walking or moving about. I'd like to think that I've learned just how important it is to stay active. I'd also like to think I've learned to deeply respect and honor people like my mom and others who have disabilities. It's amazing how not being able to do something makes the simplest of tasks challenging. I will also remember to always look at people with disabilities in the eye. It's completely disturbing how people avoid eye contact with me when I'm in a wheelchair.
• Oh, and another thing about mobility. When you see someone walking with a cane or crutch, don't laugh. Even if she looks silly. It isn't cool to laugh. Ever.

End of February

• We forget. We forget how hard things were. So among many other things, maybe I'll forget how hard it is to walk and I won't have to think so carefully of each step. Along those same lines, maybe my kids will someday forget that I couldn't walk, or play, or care for them as I wanted.
• To ask for help. I've gotten to be an expert at this, and hopefully I will ask nicely more than I demand (So sorry Eric and to my parents).
• Life goes on. Weeks and months go by, kids grow way too quickly, and there will always be stuff to do. Way too much stuff to do.

And bit by bit every day I'm going to be thankful that:

• My wonderfully lovely husband and partner will be here to remind me of how I want to walk through this life, parent our children, and be as a family. So on those days when I'm not lovely, patient, kind, or hopeful he'll be here to pull me up by the boot straps and I'll get back on track to how I want to be.
• My children are young and forgiving. Even though I haven't been the most fun and haven't been able to play with them as I would like, or always be the parent I want to be, they still think I'm the best. They are awesome at giving people chances for getting it better the next time. This time will hopefully be a small blip on their lifetime of memories.
• My parents have been able to put their retirement on hold. They have allowed my kids to "carry on as usual" allowing them to partake in their normal routines with their weekly visits. They had the chance to become parents of young children again when the accident first happened. I think it's safe to say they cherish their role of grandparents way more now. They were both born to spoil them.
• Friends are amazing. I am so extremely lucky to have the friends that I do. I pretty much can and have asked everything of them and they are always willing to be here to support me and our family. I hope they think of me the same way.
• Slowly, but surely I'm getting better. I may not recognize the person staring back at me in the photos, but this really is small potatoes in the big scheme of things.

Enough for now. Thinking back over these last months is painful. However, had I not broken my leg, there is no way we would be buying a farm right now. So maybe that's it. I broke my leg so we could buy a farm. Crazy? Nope. Not any crazier than what we have all been through these last few months.